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What if you woke up one day in the body of a nine-year-old girl, with all your adult memories intact? This is the dizzying premise of Marta Z. Czarska’s debut novel, A Poisoned Gift. The setup immediately resonated with me because it taps into a fantasy I have always had about going back and redoing things with my adult knowledge. How many of us have not thought about what choices we would make differently if given another chance? The novel invites comparison to films like 13 Going on 30 or books like The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August, though Czarska charts her own course by setting the story against the backdrop of Communist Poland and Switzerland during the 1980s.
The book opens on a bleak note. We meet Zofia on her birthday, but there are no celebrations. Instead, she’s contemplating suicide, reflecting on how her life has been a profound disappointment. She describes existence as “a poisoned gift”, something that initially appeared magnificent and wonderful but revealed itself to be toxic. Then, without warning, the second chapter shifts entirely. Zofia finds herself back in her nine-year-old body in Switzerland, retaining all her memories from forty-four years of life. She has been granted an unexplained second chance, and is joyful to get it.
The story has plenty of amusing moments as we watch an adult consciousness navigate childhood’s constraints. Zofia repeatedly betrays herself through telling mistakes. She types with astonishing speed, prompting an observer to marvel, “You’re typing surprisingly fast… I’ve never seen a child who could type so well. In fact, you seem to be a lot faster than me!” She speaks languages she shouldn’t yet logically know. As Zofia remarks, “I keep forgetting that I look like a kid.” Much like in the Freaky Friday movie (and sequel), there’s a lot of humor to be mined from the premise alone of an adult in a young person’s body.
It’s seriously enjoyable to read how Zofia tries to avoid the mistakes of her previous life. “One thing reassures me: I know who the people are who are worth getting to know and those who have proved to be disappointments, whether in friendship, love or sex. At least this time I won’t be wasting my time with idiots…” It made me reflect on my own life, and who I would or would not meet again if given the chance. In addition, Czarska deserves credit for handling tough topics like suicide and depression respectfully. Importantly, the novel doesn’t pretend a magical second chance would fix everything. Potential sensitive readers should be aware, though, that the book does tackle some dark topics.
The relationship between Zofia and Marco is the novel’s heart. Their connection develops gradually throughout her second childhood, “Marco. My sweet Italian refuge. Even though we’re no longer in the same class, we still spend time together. I asked him why, genuinely surprised that he still wanted to see me. ‘Because you’re my friend and I’m waiting for you to grow up,’ he replied with his best smile.” Romantic tension builds beneath their friendship and a sort of will they, won’t they dynamic. She integrates into his Italian family, who joke she’s “la ragazzina che ha conquistato l’Italia” (the girl who conquered Italy), and their dialogue is well-written. Without going into spoiler territory, there’s also a twist that reveals Zofia may not be the only one living a second life, and it’s a revelation that deepens the magical realist intrigue.
Maybe it’s just because this is an ARC copy, but the formatting issues were slight obstacles to my reading experience. There are no page numbers whatsoever and the font is inexplicably small. The dialogue uses dashes instead of quotation marks: “- Oh, thank you! It’s because I’ve always spent a lot of time at my mum’s work.” This has literary precedent—I remember James Joyce used it—but in modern times it reads as a strange choice that needs to be justified, and Czarska doesn’t even use em dashes. Also, the chapter list appears at the end rather than the beginning, which seems like an error. Nonetheless, the footnotes are a thoughtful addition, and it’s interesting to read about the different countries Zofia lives in throughout the book.
In the end, despite the fact I had a few criticisms, overall I really enjoyed A Poisoned Gift. I can imagine it will be relatable to many people because of its easy to read, intimate writing and the stong premise that all of us have probably wondered about at some point. Czarska has penned a time-bending story that feels both intimate and universal, a reflection on regret and the aching desire to rewrite one’s past. The moral of the story is also a solid one: a reminder that the true second chance isn’t changing the past, but learning how to embrace the present.
Final verdict: An enjoyable and thought-provoking read from a writer with a strong voice and undeniable talent. The strong premise alone makes it well worth picking up, and while it has a few rough edges, they’re easily outweighed by how engaging and relatable Czarska’s voice is. The ideal next read for fans of Audrey Niffenegger, Kate Atkinson, and Matt Haig.
You can get your copy of “A Poisoned Gift” or read it for free on Kindle Unlimited here!
